
The Shape of Transforming Love!
A little boy sat in a doctor’s surgery whilst the Doctor tried to explain that they needed to take some of his blood – or marrow – to save the life of his sister. He had recovered from a serious blood disease that had threatened his life and now his sister was in dire need of his blood to save her life. The boy was quiet and subdued, he looked anxious and unsure, a bit pale at the request. Finally in a soft voice he replied, ‘Okay doctor you can take my blood to save my sister.’ The procedures happened and all went well. The doctor went to find and report to the family that all had gone well, and a very positive outcome was expected. He saw the boy sitting alone, head down and very quiet. The doctor went up and began to chat with him, reassuring him that his sister would be okay… After a short silence, the boy looked up with frightened eyes and asked, ‘So doctor, when do I die?’ It was then the doctor realised the little boy thought that in giving his blood for his sister, he was giving his life. Such is the generous sacrifice of love! I’m not sure the boy was conscious of the profound shape of his decision, even if grounded in a misunderstanding. He acted for his sister’s well-being even though he believed he was going to die. Such is love. When love, as the theme of so many songs, poems, plays, movies, stories etc, is portrayed in forms that range from the sublime to the ridiculous, it often becomes lost in sentimentality, mushy feelings and simplistic notions. Some of this is nice and feels good but is it love that is sustaining and real? When I celebrate weddings, the question I ask is ‘Will you love each other…?’ This invites the couple to reflect on a commitment to love through the good times, when everything feels lovely and is going well, when the nice feelings flow, it is easy to ‘feel’ love. What happens when everything falls apart, when there are tensions and challenges, when you disagree…? Love is a commitment of the will to act for the well-being and flourishing of another, says Scott Peck. It may be sacrificial, generous and self-giving with nothing in return. This week Jesus invites his disciples to love one another as they have been loved by him (John 13:31-35). He speaks of this as a new commandment – to love as they have been loved. There are various commandments that existed – Love God with your whole heart, soul and strength. Love your neighbour as yourself. Love the stranger, the sojourner in your land… This one, however invites the disciples to love as they have been loved, as they have experienced love in him. I pondered this idea, of what the disciples experienced. What was their experience of love? What did they see, hear, experience and how did these experiences transform them, change their perspective, give them a new and different story? I pondered how this may have been for them in that particular moment, a poignant and critical moment in Jesus’ life as he approached his death. In John’s story there are several chapters that surround his death, as he gathers with the disciples, washes their feet and models servanthood. They shared the Passover meal and remembered, and celebrated, the story of their predecessors and God’s grace in liberation and salvation. He prayed for them and all people who would hear and follow and be drawn into this new way. He prayed that they would be one, as he and God are one. He prayed for their mission of reconciliation and healing in the world, the continuation of his mission. And he told them to love, as they had been loved. As I pondered, one night, I imagined those who looked into this face of love in other poignant and critical moments of life. A woman caught in the act of adultery (where was the man???) and confronting a group of male leaders who wanted to stone her as the law seemed to imply. Jesus invited them to go ahead but only after the one without sin in their own lives threw the first stone. He doodled in the dirt and then looked up to see the woman standing alone. He offered her the forgiveness and peace of God and sent her off to live in a new way – he loved her and gave her life in the deepest ways. What love did she experience and recognise in his eyes? What love did the disciples see in this or in the woman who suffered a menstrual bleed for 12 years? She visited various physicians, but they only took her money and did nothing for her – she was left broke and alone. She was alienated from community and life, desperate for help that no-one would give her. She saw him and believed that all she needed was to touch the hem of his cloak and all would be well. She did and was, but he felt the connection and asked who touched him. In the midst of the jostling crowd, he asked, and she came forward scared and unsure. But he loved her – ‘Daughter! Your faith has made you well. Go in peace!’ She was named a beloved child of God in that moment – and loved. What did she feel? What did she see in those eyes of love? What did the many who experienced Jesus see, feel, experience in the love that flowed through acceptance, liberation, forgiveness, healing and grace? What did the disciples experience through their own transformation, their own experience of grace and love? What did they see in the face of the one who loved in the name of Love itself? How had their own lives changed through the ministry of Jesus and how had they experienced such transformative, self-giving, generous love? What did this love look like? The urging commandment is more prescient and profound in the context of Jesus’ own life at that moment – his impending death. As he speaks through this extended passage, promising hope beyond death, a place in God’s house and union with God through his own life and death. He pleas for unity in their diversity and that these followers and all who hear and respond will be drawn into a unity that reflects this Triune God of relationship and inclusive love. Jesus will give his life in the name of love and for the sake of love, justice, hope and peace for the world. He will stand against those powers of the world who are violent, oppressive, exclusive and judgemental. He will surrender into the way of sacrificial love for the sake of all and through death find new life and liberation – a story of cruciform shape that urges death and resurrection in life and spirit. He gives for the sake of others and do so in love. When he urges them to love as he has loved them, it is profoundly challenging, a high calling. It is a profound call to surrender into love and offer self for the sake of others and their flourishing regardless of what it might mean for us. This is the shape of love, surrendering, transforming, liberating and the hope for our world!